The Always, Sometimes and Nevers of Gambling in Casinos: General Principles – Part 5

Never make any side bets that require you to put up extra money. You’ll find these "jackpot" side bets appearing at blackjack games, Let It Ride, Caribbean Stud, and others. Some are even appearing in pay toilets! (Just kidding.) The casino edge on side bets is often around 25 percent. And those dollars do add up. At a game with 60 to 100 decisions per hour, your expectation is to lose on average between $15 and $25 per hour. The game you are playing, minus the side bet, will often have a lower loss expectation even though you are betting $5 or $10 per decision. That’s math for you!

Always tip on top of your bets, not in front of or beside them. This way you control the bet and also get comp points for the tip. You can also ride a favorable streak for yourself into a lot of tips ofr the dealers but you still only spent that initial bet for them! That’s the smart way to tip and the economical way, too.

In negative-expectation games, which just about all casino games are, it is always best to slow down the pace. Remember this: fast is always good for the casino but never good for the player. Think of casino gambling the way you’d think of riding a bicycle into a wall. Is it better to be going as fast as your legs can pump or it is better to be going slowly, like a snail? The only time this isn’t an absolute truth is on those rare occasions where the players sometimes have the edge. Then play like a maniac to get in as many decisions as you can.

Speaking of tips, always tip good dealers for their good dealing and never complain to the dealer that you are losing because one, the dealer is not responsible for your horrid luck and, two, the dealer doesn’t know you from Adam and cares less about you than the dust mites on your eyelids do.

Always bring enough money to the casino to last the amount of time you intend to play. You never want to get blown out in the first few minutes of a session because then you’ll be tempted to borrow. Never borrow money, either from friends or fellow players, in order to extend your time at the tables. And never borrow money from those credit card advance machines (even for one more hand or one more spin or one more roll of the dice), once you have lost your session stake. Especially never borrow money from guys with colorful names, like Louie the Lip, or, worse, Louie the Lipless. These people have been known to have a house edge sharper than a serpent’s tooth.

Always have a separate account for your gambling funds. Call this your 401G (for gambling!). Put a little in it each week and always use the money from this account for gambling purposes. You'll find that having a gambling account will give you peace of mind as well as ready funds when you want to play. And, better still, you'll never feel guilty should you lose money since that money was strictly for gambling, not for Lulu's braces or Timmy's tux for the prom. A gambler who isn’t sweating the money is a gambler who probably doesn’t need to reapply his deodorant. People will also stand near you and not make funny faces when you aren’t looking.

Always sign up for a player's card and always use it when you play. Take advantage of all the freebies that your play generates but never play more than you intended just to get comps. Comps can sometimes be a trap for people who are looking to look like big shots to the casino bosses and the lovely young things wiggling around the casinos who, by the way, are never are interested in you, and could not care less that you just bet $200 on a hand of blackjack. And bosses can never be impressed by someone betting money at a game he has no hope to win at because bosses think that most gamblers are…you finish the sentence!

Never flash your money on the boardwalk or on the streets of a Atlantic City because you might hurt people’s feelings that you are so rich and they are so poor and they might take it into their brains to redistribute the wealth by knocking you on your noggin. Always get credit at your favorite casinos so you don’t have to carry around wads of cash. Credit is great, as long as you never abuse it, because it is always an interest free loan from the casinos to you. Unfortunately, if you lose the money, you have to pay it back. Always!

Finally, always buy all of Frank Scoblete’s books and tapes because he’s a great guy and deserves your patronage...okay, okay, I just threw that in! (But do it anyway.)

Finally, remember that casino gambling should always bring you a certain level of thrill and enjoyment, whether you win, lose or draw. If you find that it doesn’t, you should never play. Life is just too short to be miserable -- even sometimes.